“And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to bloom.”
~ Anais Nin
Is today the day?
We’re balanced on the cusp of change … from winter to spring just around the corner … from morning peacefulness to flurry … from you remaining constricted in a life or career that is too small for you, that doesn’t bring you alive … to risking being more of who you are (if you only knew what that was).
Do your life or/and career sometimes feel like a shoe that is two sizes too small? You know there’s more for you — you can be more, do more, feel more joy, have more fun, be a more brilliant version of yourself — and yet, you are so busy right now, maybe feeling a bit drained, a bit unfocused, a bit distracted. The technicolour version of you is just that tantalising bit out of reach. So maybe next weekend you will think about what you really, really want … and so it goes.
This is what usually trips you up. In years of experience as a personal and executive coach, I’ve discovered that when people finally do get around to thinking about creating positive change, they start with premature goals. They will jump into fixing on, sometimes almost arbitrarily, what they think they should want, what their parents wanted for them, what their friends or partner what, what they’ve read about it in the FT “How To Spend It” section — somebody else’s dreams. The goals you choose are often not a great fit for who you really are and they have little real passion or authentic drive behind them. They are not part of a bigger vision that fires you up. In fact, they are too small for you really, based on what you think you want and how you assume that will make you feel — a quick fix, lacking commitment. So what happens? The goals fizzle out … keep you constricted … there is no real energy in them.
How do you know when you’ve got this right? You feel thrilled, energised, joyful, passionate, committed, you crystallize your vision, you make your plan, you take action. And you start TODAY…not because you should, but because you want to — actually because you HAVE to.
So how do you start? In my experience there are two perfect starting points. First, who are you really? No, I mean really underneath the layers of habit, fatigue, expectations, disappointments … who are you at your absolute best? If you are in a bud form right now, what does the blossom version look like? Let’s move beyond a superficial understanding to a deeper appreciation of the unique individual you are.
Here’s how I uncover this with my clients. I am trained in Enneagram personality profiling, which is soulful, dynamic, expansive and revelatory! I also use a deep strengths analysis to uncover what you are truly great at, not which you think you’re good at necessarily, which could be a learned behaviour. The key question is: Does it energise you? If you’re good at something but it doesn’t excite you, it could be something you’ve learned to do, which goes a bit against the grain and drains you. If it’s a true strength you are brilliant at, you have fun using it, you get in a state of flow, you lose track of time, you feel inspired!
Essentially, what are your star powers? I recommend this as the place to start.
Next, how do you want to feel? Underneath the goal, underneath the word, what is is that speaks to you? For example, success. If you’re a leader of a senior team and you want to feel more successful, what does that mean to you? How will you feel? How will you know you’re successful? What will your Mondays look like, feel like? How will your Sunday evenings be? What will you be doing, feeling, enjoying at the weekend? I suggest you enhance and expand your definition of success to see what it means for you uniquely. What does it feel like for you to express your brilliance more completely, in a more fulfilling way?
Don’t get overwhelmed! If you take it step-by-step everything will start to open up for you (Including yourself!). To get you started I have two complimentary gifts for you:
- Your own Star Power Treasure Map to help you chart your course from where you are to where you want to be.
- Join me for my no-cost webinar on March 5th — Make Change Fast, Make Change Last … Discover the FUN, Easy, No-struggle Way to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.
Please share your comments and questions for me below.